Drowning in white. Can’t move, something’s not right. Behind my back my arms are tied. Eyes bloodshot, stained cheeks I’ve cried I hear foot steps, the nurse is back. To up the dose, please don’t send me back. 

A flash of memories. How I wished he’d love me. Instead he raped me and took it all from me. I could never be his equal. Not education, knowledge, nor experience made me good enough. All of me, my love wasn’t enough. I fell faint at the scent of him
he had it all; I’d have gone to the end for him. Up late every night he made me sleep alone. Then deep into a twelve-pack he’d slip into bed. And take from me without a word said. In all those months he couldn’t drink enough to say he loved me. In every breath, remorse, he’d promise me the world, tell me all that I want to hear. In every action he’d steal it all from me. 

When the meds begin to fade, and I’ve realized it all. What a controlling, abusive bastard he was. The healing may now begin, I can finally let him go. No more tears, my weak heart never again to yearn for him. The jacket is off I can move, can breath again. How it took me so long to see it all. Though it took me several months to heal. In it I found a friend, found a companion. In someone I’d have never expected to find such a treasure. I found me…finally.


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